Q Branch field companion

0050

v0.0.7 beta · property of HM Government

Active mission Eyes only

Operation Midnight Sovereign

Monte Carlo · extract Dr. Vasquez · do not engage at the baccarat table this time

Briefing self-destructs after reading. Figuratively. We stopped the literal version after the dry-cleaning incidents.

Issued equipment · tap to demo

Exploding pen, Mk IV

Bottle green, gold trim. Click once to write. Click twice to… don’t.

Armed

Laser watch “Ultra”

Battery 12% — you left the laser on again.

12%

Hip flask, Mk II

Two compartments: dry martini and hydrofluoric acid. They are not labelled. Labels are for amateurs.

Unlabelled

Invisible cufflinks

Green enamel, gold trim, refraction cloak. Turn the bar at your own risk.

Misplaced

Quartermaster's ledger · Q2

0 / 11

company cars returned intact

tuxedos destroyed this quarter

£48

martini expenses, under review

items dissolved “accidentally”

Emergency protocols

For emergencies only. Losing at cards is not an emergency, 0050.

Equipment demonstration

Exploding pen, Mk IV

Bottle green lacquer, 18-carat trim. Looks like a pen. Writes like a pen. Is not, strictly speaking, a pen.

Awaiting input. Please listen to the entire briefing before touching anything.

Incident report, auto-filed

Blast radius	4 metres, give or take a desk
Pen status	was a pen
Paperwork required	extensive

That was the simulator, 0050. The real one is in your breast pocket. Do try to remember which click is which.

Equipment demonstration

Laser watch “Ultra”

Titanium case, sapphire crystal, 36-hour battery. Or roughly four seconds of laser.

Hardened steel padlock on loan from facilities. They would like it back.

Each firing costs 5% battery. The siri integration was a mistake and has been removed.

Equipment demonstration

Invisible cufflinks

Green enamel, gold trim, adaptive refraction cloak. Turn the bar a quarter-turn to engage.

Currently visible, which rather defeats the purpose, but easier to demonstrate.

Sold in pairs. Returned, historically, in zeroes.

Equipment demonstration

Hip flask, Mk II

Brushed pewter, engraved by the workshop. Twin reservoirs: one restores morale, one voids warranties.

Q Branch standard issue. Monogrammed. Mostly safe.

Contents under pressure. Morally, in one case.